Jumping Rainbows

Something awakening again

Four years ago in July I lost my right hand, my left hand, my best friend.  The independence she gave me during the short time we were together was like nothing I've experienced before, or since.  We truly were a team in more ways than one!

Over the past four years, a lot of things have happened including some very special people entering my life, as well as some additional losses.  Throughout those events, I've thought about the fact that I want that companionship and independence again.  However, it's never really been anything that I felt I wanted to or could put a lot of time and energy into making happen, until now...

Something inside me has reawakened and I feel as though now is the time to once again embark on a journey that I know will bring me companionship, a right hand, a left hand, and a best friend!  I realize that this journey is going to be a lot tougher than the first because of the way the last one ended, but up to this point in my life I've always taken the road less traveled, for the most part, because it is just that.  That being said, I've done a lot of thinking, soul-searching praying and other things, and I'm ready for whatever it has to offer, even if the answer happens to be "no" or "absolutely not!"  To be quite honest, those are exactly some of the responses I'm expecting, and I wouldn't disagree with them if they were EXACTLY what I got.  At this point though, I sort of have the attitude of "nothing ventured, nothing gained". 

If I don't follow my heart while my heart is saying go, I feel as though I'll never know what would have been, could have been, or even should have been.  I believe that God gives each of us a sense of "go time" for a reason when it's appropriate.  He's had my entire life laid out before Him since long, long, long before I ever made my debut.  He would NEVER do anything that didn't have a reason in the end, and He would never leave me hanging by myself.  For all those reasons, my trust in His judgment and timing far surpasses even my own!  I feel like I would be a fool not to listen!

Only time will tell where his tugging of my heartstrings leads me, but I trust that wherever it is is EXACTLY where I was meant to be and that moment! 

That's why You are as awesome as You are, God!

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