In the past three months I've ridden a roller coaster of emotions I hoped not to be riding for a long, long, long, LONG time! For those unaware, three months ago I lost the one who held my heart as tenderly as I held his! Even though he's in heaven as I write this, we'll share a bond that NOTHING will ever break! Of that, be it the only thing at times, I'm supremely confident!
The waves of grief, when they come, are grueling and seem to be never ending at times. They always are though, and I wanna talk about something that's helped me get through the past few weeks of waves: Being able to reflect on ingredients for my tear soup. Yes, I said tear soup. Let me explain. Within the last two weeks, I was introduced to a book called Tear Soup.
It's a book about the fact everyone grieves entirely differently, even over the same person or thing. The ingredients (thoughts, memories, emotions, ect.) for my tear soup will be different from another person who spent the same amount of time with him. By the same token, my soup will need to be cooked differently (I'll express those thoughts, memories, emotions, ect. differently) than someone else's.
I wanna post the content of the e-mail here because I'm pretty confident it'll touch somebody else as deeply as it did me! If not now, at some point:
Grandy's Recipe for Tear Soup
Helpful ingredients to consider
A pot full of tears
One heart willing to be broken open
A dash of bitters
A bunch of good friends
Many handfuls of comfort food
A lot of patience
Buckets of water to replace the tears
Plenty of exercise
A variety of helpful reading material
Enough self care
Season with memories
Optional: one good therapist and/or support group
Choose the size pot that fits your loss.
It's okay to increase pot size if you miscalculated.
Set the temperature for a moderate heat.
Cooking times will vary depending on the ingredients needed.
Strong flavors will mellow over time.
Cook no longer than you need to.
Trust your instincts.
Cry when you want to, laugh when you can.
Freeze some soup to use as a starter for next time.
Keep your own soup making journal so you wont forget.
Need I say more?