A very select few of you know the depths of what I've been going through for about the last six months. For those of you who don't, don't feel bad! This has been such a personal issue that I've kept a good majority of it to myself. There is one part of this entire experience that I do want to share with all of you for one very specific reason: I want to know if anyone else out there in SaidSimple land have ever experienced anything like this for any reason! If you have, I would REALLY like to know if you were able to bring yourself out of it, and how!
I've always had a history of getting INCREDIBLY sick after being put under! Before I even go under, I make it a point of letting EVERYONE know I'm a puker! That way they can give me something during surgery to hopefully stop the ball from rolling before it ever starts! In all the years I've had to have surgery, heading it off in the begining hasn't stopped me from puking at least once after surgery, and being continuously, and INCREDIBLY sick to my stomach for at least 24 hours afterwards. This was no different. Although I only threw up once, the entire night Tuesday night I felt as though the entire lining of my stomach was gonna come up!
At about 9:30 that night, I was so overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to puke, I asked for meds. To my GREAT DISMAY, it was too early for me to have more of the med I had been being given. Seconds later though, my mood was lifted when my nurse told me that another drug had been ordered that I could have. This particular drug has a tendency to make you very sleepy, so I wanted to get settled in for the night before I got it. By the time I did everything I needed to do, it was 10:30, and the med was going in! Relief at last!
YEAH, RIGHT! Over the next hour, my spasticity became UNBEARABLE! Much worse than that though was the fact that I felt like I LOST ALL CONTROL OVER MIND AND BODY! It was as if my mind was trying to run from something invisible, something monstrous, but this monstrous thing was smothering me...suffocating me...taking me over! The harder I tried to escape its grasp, the more overpowering it became! It got so bad that I was afraid to close my eyes, for fear I would never see daylight again!
Eventually, with the help of two different meds, I was able to sleep, but not before about 3AM. I'm convinced it was a panic attack! My question, as I said at the top, is: Anyone else ever been here, and what'd you do???