The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.

I'm done. It's time to move on.

This will be my last word about this person.

A week ago I got this email.  I wont give the sender's name, but she knows who she is.

To: Daniel P.  Stasinski
Subject: Hurt
Date: Tuesday - May 18, 2004 - 10:30 pm
I just need to talk to you and I no longer have your phone number.  I read you journal entries and I got to thinking that we should go on being friends and stop this crap.  You"re hurt and I"m hurt by all of this and I can not take it any more, you and I need to talk about this like adults and not like kids.  I miss our friendship and want it back, I don"t know how you feel but I feel like crap and I don"t want to feel that way any more.  Well I just wanted to say that and I hope that you read it and think really hard about it. 

I did as she asked -- I thought about it -- then I called her and we had what I thought was a nice conversation.  We talked about her seeing a counselor and I was pleased to hear that she had told the counselor the complete truth about the lie she has been living recently.  Of course that was short lived because she said that as truthful as she was with that one person, she immediately went home and told her parents the exact opposite.  I asked her what she was so afriad of and she confided that she has a hard time telling the truth because she wants people to take her seriously.  I can't begin to understand the logic in that line of thinking.

She says that she can't understand why she can't keep any friend more than a few days but the answer is staring her right in the face.  People don't like liars and cheats.

I promised her that I would always talk to her like an adult, but I am afraid that it is the sole promise I have to break with her.  She is not an adult yet.  Respectable adults do not do the things she does.  She's still a very young little girl who has lost her way so I have to treat her like that until she grows up.

Maybe she missed the story 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' when she was in school.  I hope she sees this and reads it.

Before I knew the type of person she is, I wrote her a program that emails her a new word every morning because she said she wanted to learn more.  I stopped sending them to her a few weeks ago because her being smarter is a waste of time.  As long as the lies are still there, why bother?

Here are a few words for her to learn:

Confession: Admitting when you make a mistake or tell a lie and making sure that everyone knows the real truth.

Repentance: Feeling sorry for hurting your friends and family and wanting to be a better person.

Contrition: Doing something good for your friends and family after you have done something to hurt them.  A way of showing them that you have changed and are a better person.

Forgiveness: After you have confessed the bad things you have done to your friends and family, show them you have repented by apologizing and then performed some act of contrition, your friends and family and God will forgive you.  You have to ask for forgiveness, it's not something that just happens all by itself.

If you're reading this, you need to start being an adult.  Stop telling lies and stop hurting everyone you come in contact with.  If you don't, you're going to grow old and die without ever having had friends who truly love you for the person you could have been.

You'll never have a friend in your life as good as the one I was to you.  As a dear friend said to me yesterday, you have no idea of what you've lost.

At one time I was so proud to tell people about you and how much fun you were to be with, but you've hurt me enough that I don't even want to admit that I know you.  It's both sad and embarrassing to now have to tell my own friends and family that you were not the person I thought you were.

The burden of friendship is now your responsibility.  I'm not calling you any more.  If you want to fix this, it has to be your doing.  If you want to talk about it, you're going to have to call me.  If you don't have my phone number, you'll have to start asking people for it.  If you want to see me, you're going to have to hop on a bus and come here.

Until then, I'm done with you.

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