The Blog of Daniel

Just my place to write without any delusions of self-importance.

Mind the Gap

I just watched a very moving "art" type movie that opened up a lot of different thoughts and emotions.  It was a character study of a man who believed he may be dying and wanted to start a new life; another man who wanted to die but found forgiveness instead; a woman who could die just as she is staring a new life; a daughter who cared for her dying mom; and an old man who's life seemed to grow near its ending.  In the end all these beautiful lives come together.

As much as it may seem that the movie is about death, it's not, it's about emergence of life.

The movie got me thinking a lot about my own family, as well as someone else's.

Family is family.  You take care of each other.  It doesn't matter how fucked up things may become, when all is said and done you take care of your family.  This doesn't require complicity or complacency over things done wrong, but when it comes to maintaining the health of your family, you do what needs to be done, whatever that may be.

Like the daughter in the movie, when the time comes that my mother can no longer take care of herself, my life and my sisters goes on hold.  After she had to watch my Great Grandmother Zimmerman lose her health and die in a rest home, my mom made us promise to always give her her deserved dignity.  In her own words, we will never allow her to lay in bed and smell like piss.  I promised.  We all promised.    And even though my dad Tom and I had a rocky past, he fullfiled more fatherly obligations than my asshole bio-dad ever did.  I'll make that same promise to him.

I can relate to all the men in the movie too.  One had a moment of great strength; another had a moment of great weakness; and the other just wanted to be around long enough to finish the job he started.  Like him, I hope I will live long enough to fulfill my promises.

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