Early this morning I was talking to my mom about the fact that when I hire another PCA in a couple of months, I would really like it if they were comfortable helping me put my contacts in. She agreed with me, and said that it was definitely something that we should ask about during the interview process. She also said that it wasn't like it was a make or break thing. If I really like someone, but they aren't comfortable putting my contacts in, it's not like I'm going to tell them that they can't work for me because they're not comfortable doing that. So for that, I must give her credit. However, that's all the credit she's getting, because what she said next made no sense to me at the time, and even now, hours after this incident has taken place, it still makes no sense.
After we finished talking about my contacts, she says, "but when we hire another person, I want to be able to check their work-related references, because we didn't have any for Shelly, and look what ended up happening. I'm not dealing with 'psycho' personalities again." Now granted, Shelly was nothing less than psycho, and I really truly believe that she had some serious mental issues when I look back on the situation. Unfortunately, hindsight is always 20/20, and I didn't realize how detrimental the situation with Shelly and I was until long after she was gone. The positive side of that situation is that I have learned my lesson and when I hire anyone again, I will be much more on the lookout for things that just don't feel right.
Where I disagree with my mom is here: how is it, that even though I employ her as a PCA she has any right to dictate what I will require or won't require in order for somebody else to get the job? Now, I understand that she is my mom, and that the motherly instincts of being a mom are always going to be there no matter how old I get, but that still doesn't make her being overpowering in any way right. I've learned a lot from my mistakes over the past two years, and sometimes I feel like she just doesn't see that.
Furthermore, even though I have an agency writing her paycheck, she is still working for me, and for her to tell me that she's not going to do something that really has nothing to do with her seems a little out of line to me! She doesn't have to do it again, I do. Not only that, but she doesn't have to work with whoever I hire on a daily basis, I do. She doesn't have to put all her trust into that individual, knowing that if she doesn't, she won't be getting out of bed in the morning, I do. With all that being said, in the grand scheme of things, forgetting the fact that she is my mother for just a moment, what does it matter to her? In my opinion, as long as she's getting paid when she should be, the ultimate decision of who I hire should be left up to me, and she shouldn't make statements like, "I won't do it again!"
Again, mom, you don't have to, I do. So do me a favor, and do your best to believe in the fact that I have learned my lesson from the mistakes I've made over the past two years, and will do my very, very best not to make them again! I love you very very much, and I always will, but at this point I'm a grown woman and I really need to be able to fall down, get dirty, and get back up in order to continue becoming the woman that I want to become. I realize you only have my best interests at heart, and I greatly appreciate that, probably more than you will ever know, but believe me when I say I have this one under control! I can take care of this one! So just keep being my mom, as you been for the last 24 years, and please please please stop trying so hard to protect me. I'm okay, and if there's ever a point where I'm not, I promise, promise, promise you'll be the first one to know!