I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I really have been trying to figure out how to put down the things that have been going on in my head, but sometimes it isn't that easy to do, even if the things going on in your head are good things. I run the risk of people not being able to understand what I am saying.
Things for me lately have actually been pretty good. Not a lot has changed, but I am more content with things and sometimes that can make all of the difference in the world.
I went to see my grandparents on Easter Sunday and my grandpa was having a pretty good day. He knew who I was and was pretty talkative, which for him that is a plus. Every time a holiday rolls by now, I wonder if it will be his last. I know he isn't getting better, even if he has good days. I am at peace, for right now anyway, that he isn't in pain and that he is doing the best he can. I hope he knows somewhere in the back of his mind that we are doing the best we can to take care of him.
I have been doing some soul-searching lately and tried to get my mind back into thinking about the positive things in my life instead of the negative. I realize I do have people who really are my friends and I have people who really do care about me and do everything they can to help me stay happy and to show me I am important and I am a good person. Just having somebody that reminds you on a daily basis that you are special works wonders.
I have come to the conclusion that no matter how bad some things around me can get, that it isn't always my fault; so why should I punish myself and not try to be as happy as I can?
For somebody like me, who has lived her life feeling very insecure.......friends that know you need that extra bit of reassurance, are very good to have around.
I have always known the more you hear something, the more you start to believe it. My problem was I was hearing the negative stuff and not taking time to hear the good things that I needed to hear.
I still have good days and bad days, but that is part of life........but for now I am basking in the sunlight of the good days.
Take Care and God Bless,
P.S. I wrote this a day or so ago and it is so weird how things can change in just a few hours. I'm not having such a good day basking in the sunlight today, but I posted this so it can remind me I can hopefully get back to doing just that.