Amber's Abode

Let it snow?!

Well, I'm writing for the first time in forever to wish everybody a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, (I know it's supposed to be spelled with a C in Hebrew, but apparently Dragon NaturallySpeaking only knows the version before.  Sorry.,) happy Kwanzaa, or other holiday unknown to me that you celebrate.  Maybe Festivus like in Seinfeld.  :-).  Or if you happen to be a Jehovah's Witness and don't celebrate holidays, just have a good regular day.  :-).

Some people have been wondering why I haven't written in forever.  The honest answer is because I feel like I have been whining a lot in here.  Because I only really write when something bad or sad is going on.  I acknowledge this, gentle readers, what few of you there are, and plan to remedy it in the future by writing on topics I am thinking about.  But this one is going to be a little whining and I'm sorry.  But people really want to know where I am in my life so here goes.  There are some good things too, just keep reading.

So the holidays are always hard for me because the family I was raised with doesn't really try to keep connected with me very much anymore.  They blame circumstances no one can help, like my disability and the fact that it makes it nearly impossible for me to travel or sleep overnight anywhere.  Airtight seeming excuses, but they are my family and it seems like once a year they could struggle to get around these obstacles which are not insurmountable in reality, just difficult.  But anyway, they don't.  They all go home without me, every year now.  I should be used to it but it still hurts.  As a consolation prize, they usually come up the week before, which would be this weekend for a pre-Christmas celebration with me.  Not this year, most likely.

Why?  Enter 4 feet of snow with no signs of stopping.  People ask me if I love the fact that it's snowing.  No, I don't.  It's very pretty and I wish I could play in it like other people, but I can't.  My wheelchair cannot drive on snow or ice, so I am house bound until it decides to stop.  Also, my family cannot may get over the pass from the coast.  So much for pre-Christmas.  I am bored to tears and frustrated about other health things on top of it.  But I get ahead of myself.

I've actually been invited somewhere on Christmas Eve that will be apparently my only remotely related to a real Christmas celebration thing.  Assuming I can even get out the door to catch my ride.  But I think that I will do everything I can because the that point I will have been house bound for going on two weeks if it continues.  But I won't have any gifts to give the hostess, because once again, I have no money.  Sigh.  That's really hard because giving is my favorite part of Christmas.  We had a so called party for the residents today, but I'll anybody wanted to do was exchange gifts and they all went home after that.  No games or anything.  I've been trying to figure out a way to crash the staff party that starts in a half an hour, but I don't think I will succeed.  :-).

The health issues have been continual pain and the actual air inside my catheter line, which is not good.  The latter got fixed today, finally, after three days of pretty excruciating pain.  They gave me a new hose because the old one had a microscopic hole in it somewhere letting in air.  Nobody ever believes me until I get in their face and make them check.  Then they say oh you are right, after three days of needless pain.  Whatever.  It's fixed now.  At least this time.

I have been drinking more water.  I found a water backpack again and I've actually been wearing it on my back instead of the back of the wheelchair so that the straw can reach me.  This is heavy and tiring, but it seems to be working for the hydration.  I try for a full 70 ounces a day of water.  Not fun at all for me, but I've been managing.  The worst part is that it leaks a little after you take a drink, so my shirts always get soaked and right now I'm really cold.  But I'll do what I have to do to stay here.

I've been consistently getting a second place finish in my recent poker tournaments, which made me number one points earner for the month last time I checked.  This is probably changed since I missed a whole week already.  Four sessions a week, two on Monday and two on Wednesday.  I don't always play all of them, but I've been playing well and I'm proud of myself.

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now.  Stay warm and well.  Thanks for being faithful to me in reading this for a few years now.  I will try to make it more worthwhile.

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