Amber's Abode

Wedding report and more

I know people are wondering about how the wedding was.  It was pretty, but very drama filled and I'm glad to be back here, although I never thought I would ever say that. 

I got to stand up as a bridesmaid because too many people were asking my sister why I couldn't be one.  Besides, they needed someone to carry the rings.  Although, my sister the bride did not reach for me to hand her the ring.  There was an awkward pause while she waited for my other sister to take the ring from me and hand it to her.  That didn't make much sense to me, but oh well.  And it was hard being the only one in attendance without a partner.

My mother actually asked why I was there. 

I almost said fuck if I know, but I refrained, instead asking about her life. 

She told me about going to a festival called Burning Man last summer, and I was so jealous, because I wanted to go.  But it's pretty impossible for someone with my level of disability.  It's a tent city in the desert of New Mexico every summer filled with art of all kinds.  You have to carry in your own food and water and out your own garbage. 

Anyway, she rattled on for a half-hour, never asking me about my own life.  And that was the extent of my connection with her.

My dad was really nervous because the rehearsal day marked three years since my mom walked out on him, and he had not seen her since.  But she was coldly civil, and didn't make a scene with him, so I was pretty surprised and relieved.

Dad's fiancé, Beth, is really nice to me, treating me like my mother should.  I stayed with them. 

But the dynamics of that is really weird.  Because if they are not screwing or about to, they are fighting.  Literally.  The last night I was there exploded into a huge knock down drag out, with them throwing things and threatening to leave each other, etc..  I just wanted to disappear into the floor.  And they kept expecting me to choose a side.  When I refused, they became jointly frustrated at me, thus ending the argument with each other for the moment.  That's me.  Always around to help.  Sigh.

There are no pictures available to me yet.

It was good to see my friend Mark again, though, and my dad's brother Brian, my favorite uncle.

Work continues to go well, although my favorite staff member will no longer be there regularly, her contract with AmeriCorps having ended.  She showed up last Wednesday though, working for someone else, to find out how my weekend and the wedding had gone.  I was so blessed by that.

Yesterday, I spent six hours in the ER because they couldn't get my catheter out.  Again.  And I missed my massage appointment.  I was so angry.  I was able to reschedule, but still.  If it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me.  There was so much pain, and there still is much residual discomfort.

There is some good news though.  I have made an awesome new friend.  I don't know if she would like her name used here or not, so until I find out for sure what's OK, she will just be bright one.  Only met her a couple weeks ago, but it promises to be a deep, growing, discovery kind of friendship, and I'm so happy.

Also, my local sister just landed her first non-substitute teaching position, a permanent gig.  She will be joint teaching a first and second grade class in a small church school, which suits her very well.  I'm proud of her.

That's all there is to report for now.

More Posts by Amber