Danielle's Writings

No worries

For as long as I can remember I've craved touch.  Not anything sexual, just  anything touch related, such as holding hands or hugging.  I find it incredibly  sad that the vast majority of people are so incredibly uncomfortable with touch!  I think part of that stems from people being uncomfortable with themselves.  They  think: how or why would anybody ever want to love me enough to touch me in  any way? The fact is that if you didn't grow up being showered with hugs or  other types of touch, you probably aren't going to be very comfortable with it  in adulthood.  I get that.  It just saddens me that I feel like I see so many  people shying away from it when I feel like it would be so appropriate in so many situations.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that more hugs and  handholding would fix all of the ills of the world, but I am saying that I think society has played a part in our fear of touch.

Hell, if you look at someone the wrong way, there's a chance you could be sued for sexual harassment.  Touch isn't any different really.  The only  difference is that there's actual physical contact involved.  In both situations  though, if an accuser decided to bring a suit, it would be your word against  theirs.  That, my friends, is the byproduct of a society that is not comfortable with themselves and that is far too sensitive!

Why are we so sensitive?  That answer can be found in society as well.  If we  spent more time teaching our young children that their bodies are nothing to be  ashamed of and nothing to hide, I wholeheartedly believe that fewer people would  go on to commit or be victims of sexual assaults in adulthood.  If that were the  case, people probably wouldn't be so quick to scream sexual-harassment, whether  it was justified or not.  Like I wrote a few days ago, body image issues are society's doing!  I believe that the reason we have become so  sex obsessed and conscious of touch is because we're made to cover up so much of  our bodies so much of the time.

Remember that friend I was telling you about a few days ago who went  to the nudist resort and wasn't at all uncomfortable having a conversation  with another nude individual?  Well, he once put it best: nobody really worries  about their kids running around the resort nude causing sexual assaults because  around the resort the body isn't taboo.  There's nothing hiding that somebody, child or adult, wants to get at.  It just simply isn't a concern.

I think he has a valid point.  The more you tell someone they shouldn't or  can't have something the more they're going to want to see what all the fuss is  about.  The longer you tell a child that it's wrong to explore their body, the  more they're going to want to do it when they're out from under your thumb.  Furthermore, it may result in them going in the complete opposite direction, having outrageous sexual fantasies, and eventually acting them out on another  person.  If this happens, it's more than likely going to be unwanted by one person which will, in the end, cause a whole slew of problems for both parties.

I know that my above example is a bit graphic, but unfortunately it's reality as I see it.  We, as individuals, weren't born thinking that body exploration or touch of any sort (hugs, hand holding, etc.) was a bad thing.  As a result of the fact that society has made us leave almost everything to the imagination, there are some individuals who have taken their suppressed desires to explore to  extreme levels.  Those are the individuals, I believe, that commit things like sexual assaults and make the rest of us fearful that every person who brushes up against us at work or in any other public place is making an advance toward us.

Sometimes I truly wish that the world was one big nudist resort where a belly to belly hug was thought of as nothing more than that, and the idea of a lawsuit for sexual harassment just didn't exist!  Now, is that realistic?  Absolutely not and I know that, but a girl can wish, can't she?