Jumping Rainbows

my deepest desire!

many of you who know me well may glance at the title of this entry and think you know where i'm going.  though it usually goes without saying, i'm asking you not to judge a book by its cover in this case.  i'm hoping that by the time you get to the bottom, it'll leave you thinking as hard as it did me when it first came to me!

how many of you have a friend who, when you're having the worst day ever, you can think about something they said, almost hearing their voice in your head, and feel so much better?  what if you had that friend now, but you didn't meet him/her until after he/she lost their ability to speak?  it would make it pretty difficult to hear that person's voice in your head when you needed or wanted to hear it most, right?

thats the case with cullen and i.  him and i didn't meet until october 2009, and he lost his ability to speak in '96.  as i said in a previous entry, i can't imagine communicating with him any other way then i do now, which is by him blinking in response to my yes/no questions.  there is a small part of me that wishes i had known him before he lost his ability to so that i had a "recording" of what his voice sounded like that i could "play back" in my head whenever i wanted.  i don't necessarily wanna be able to hold a conversation with him being able to speak, though i'm sure if i asked him about it, he would feel much differently!  i just want a 60 second sound byte to record to my metaphoric tape recorder so i know what it sounds like for future playback!

since meeting him, my faith and my belief in the in the power of prayer have been enormously strengthened!  if this prayer is answered, it would be nothing less than miraculous, and would make my heart explode with joy!  i'll write a breaking news blog if it happens!  :)  for now though, for those of you who have recordings of friends and family that you love on your tape recorder, treasure them and listen to them regularly even if you have the pleasure of seeing these people on a daily basis!  God put those moments on your tape recorder for a reason!  play them back often!  :)

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