Jumping Rainbows

Talking without speaking

AUTHORS NOTE:  THIS ENTRY WAS STARTED ON THE 12TH, AND IS JUST GETTING PUT UP NOW BECAUSE SOME CRAZY STUFF HAS HAPPENED BETWEEN THEN AND NOW!

The last couple days I've been missing Cullen something terrible!  Part of it, I know, is the fact that as of right now, it's been over a week since we've seen each other.  In the begining of any new relationship this can be difficult because there's infatuation, and the last thing you wanna be is apart!  The blessing that most couples, new or established, have is being able to talk on the pone or text in private even when they can't be together.  We don't, and can't have that luxury at the moment.

As I may or may not have said prior to now, Cullen is only able to answer yes and no questions, which he does by blinking.  This means that in order for us to have a private conversation, I have to be with him so I can see his responses.  If I'm not with him, then we have to have a go between, which is whoever's with him that can see his responses, and then relay them to me over the phone.  That's challenging, heart wrenching, and annoying all of the same time.  It's not just annoying for the obvious reasons, but also for several others.  Let me see if I can put it into words, although it may be a little sloppy, and very unsuccessful.  With that said, forewarned is forearmed!  Smile 

When I'm with him, the thought that he can't speak doesn't even cross my mind!  Why?  That's very very sample: because he can!  Granted, I have to "carry" the conversation by making sure I phrase thoughts in a way that he can respond either with yes/no, a thumbs up, or some other facial expression, but dong it all comes so naturally at this point, that I CAN'T IMAGINE doing it ANY OTHER WAY!  When I'm not with him, however, and I know that I can't just pick up the phone and "hear" his voice, or tell him something that's on my mind, and therefore "hear" what he thinks, I'm not gonna lie, IT HURTS!  There's part of me that NEVER wants to be away from him for that reason exactly!  The bottom line for this portion of my thought processis this:  I ONLY realize he can't talk when I wanna pick up the phone.  Otherwise, HE speaks louder than most verbal individuals I've come across in my 26 years!  Would you believe me if I told you that it's even possible to argue without saying a word?!  I'd never really thought about the fact that it was until just the other day when we spent at least 5 minutes arguing, and he never "said" a single thing!  He sure as hell got his point across!  I love you, sweetheart, and I'm beginning to love you more and more with each passing day!  Kiss

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