Jumping Rainbows

Rogers and Hollands

At some point a while back I wrote an entry that was simply titled "jewelry" and in it, as you can see, I talked about the fact that the reason that I didn't wear any jewelry all the time was because up to that point I really hadn't had any jewelry that I liked enough or cared about enough to wear all the time.  Prior to the writing that one, I wrote one about how I really really wanted to jewelry from Chan and how we were going to do our best to make that happen at some point.  As you'll be able to infer by the time I'm done writing this, that hasn't happened as of yet, but that's not actually what this entry is about.  This first paragraph just happened to be background information I felt like you needed in order to get the most out of what's to come in the paragraphs that follow.

On Thursday the 15th of this month, my sister, her husband, and I, took my mom on to celebrate her birthday at a somewhat upscale restaurant called the Cheesecake Factory, and had an outstanding meal!  It just so happened that it was inside a mall, which as you can imagine had jewelry stores in it.  As we're walking along after we'd eaten lunch, I happened to glance around me and the first thing that catches my attention when I do is a jewelry store called Rogers in Hollands.  Simultaneously as I'm glancing over, the first and only thought that goes through my head is: God, I really wish that I had someone who would be willing to go into a store like that all by themselves, pick something out, and give it to me just because they can.

Now sweetheart, I know that when you read this you're probably going to be thinking something along the lines of: not once have I ever said that you couldn't have something like that, I just want it to be something you really want rather than something you'll accept.  I get that, I really, really, really, really do.  However, if that is the thought process that's going through your head, try to understand that it's not that I don't know that I can have it, but there is the very small "typical female" part of me who loves the thought of knowing that you went and did something like that all by yourself without having to be led in the "right" direction.  Furthermore, I would think and hope that by now you understand that this is important enough to me that no matter what piece you decided to get, it isn't going to be something that I secretly won't want because in all honesty, the only thing I WANT is something like that from YOU, regardless of what the piece is!

As some of you are aware, but many of you aren't, and sweetheart, you may not even be aware of this in this context, it's taken me a very long time to feel like I deserve something like this from anyone whether I have to lead them and the "right" direction or not.  Over the last almost 5 years, I've gotten to a point where Chan is the only one that can make me feel special even when I'm as far from feeling special as I can possibly get!  That being said, I'm at a point now where I want something from him that I can keep with me all the time no matter how far apart in distance we are!  Granted, last year for my birthday he attempted to make me a CD but we never actually got to play in my computer, or anywhere else for that matter, but one time.  So, it's obvious that I can't rely on technology (computers, stereos, etc.) to be able to keep us connected no matter how far apart we are.

The way I see it, jewelry, and the type of potentially expensive, long-lasting jewelry that I'm referring to in this case especially isn't going to go anywhere, or be the type of thing that wouldn't work when I needed it to the most.  Furthermore, if I knew that it was from him, and even more if I knew that he had done it all by himself, whenever I got lonely, a piece of him and a piece of this heart would always be right there with me!  Now, don't get me wrong, it's not that if I had to lead him in the right direction the end result wouldn't be the same, it's just that as I said at the top of this, there would be something very special, very heartwarming, and even a bit indescribable about having him feel confident enough to do it all on his own!  Laughing  Does that make sense to anyone but me?  Hopefully it does.

I'm going to wrap this up by reiterating something that I said a couple of paragraphs ago: baby, it's not about me picking it out so that I get exactly what I want.  Again, the only thing I want is something like that from YOU!  Also, it doesn't have to be something that you do right at this very God given moment, so I don't want you to feel obligated now that I've written it here.  As I told you last night, I have a very difficult time not  telling you things that are on my heart, whether it be in written form, or verbally.  So, just keep everything in mind that I've said, OK?  Kiss

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