Three days from now, I'll be leaving for camp. A while back, I wrote an entry about my mixed feelings about how this year is going to play out, in my opinion, and my frustration about potentially not getting accepted because of something that was beyond my control. With all the venting that I did in my previous entry, I'm happy to report that I did get accepted in spite of my complete physical dependence on others. I am however, still having mixed feelings of another sort and this was the only way I could think of to get them out, and try to make sense of them. I appreciate all of you who are going to read this, taking the time to do so, because by the time I'm done, it may not make complete sense. There's nothing wrong with that though is there, because after all, it is my space!
The mixed feelings that I'm having trouble sorting out at this point are ones that have to do with Chandler and I, and having to leave him for a much longer period of time than I have in past years when I've gone to camp. In past years, camp has only been a maximum of four days for me, and five for those who didn't have to take the bus back to Courage Center. This year it's going to be a total of seven for me, and eight for those who don't have to take the bus back. There's part of me that is very very excited about this recent change because for many many years now I've said that I wished camp could be longer because for those of us that have to take the bus back, it seems like we just get there, and have to turn around and leave again.
The other part of me however is very very sad about the change because it means that Chandler and I are going to have to go an entire week without any contact, and that's going to be extremely difficult for me! Granted, I sometimes do it when I go to my sister's for an extended period of time, but the difference there is the fact that I always have the option of getting on the computer and chatting with him through instant message, or calling him. While I'm at camp, I have very poor cell phone reception, not to mention very little private time, and absolutely no computer access. This leaves me with almost no options for getting in touch with him the entire week that I'm gone. To make matters worse, I'm only going to be back here for five days after I come back from camp, before I head to my sister's for another eight days for the Fourth of July. So essentially, we're going to spend almost 2 weeks apart with very sporadic contact, if that. I don't like it! Not one single bit! 
As I've indirectly told him many times in recent weeks, my feelings for him are growing again, and I believe that my dread to leave him is just a testament to that. I don't like being away from him unless I absolutely have to, and I especially don't like not even having the option of having any contact with him for an entire week. If I thought that throwing a temper tantrum would change that fact, I probably would, but I know it's not going to, so I won't. Instead I'm going to make the most of the next three days that I have with him and work on creating new memories that I can take with me to reflect on over the next week. As for Harold, my other connection to Chandler, I'm leaving him here at home because I would be absolutely devastated if he got lost or stolen while I was there!
Now onto my excitement about camp! What activity am I looking forward to most? The answer to that question never, ever, ever, ever changes: TUBING all the way! 
I'm also really looking forward to seeing my girlfriend Amy, who I haven't seen since last summer at camp. The really exciting part about that? The fact that we're going to be bunk mates which means that our beds are going to be right next to each other, so I'm sure there will be lots of late-night giggling, eating way too much sugar, and most of all wishing that time would stand still so that we didn't have to think about the coming of the end of our week together. 
Every year for like the past seven years, she's threatened that she's not coming back because she's bored and hates the activities. Last year, after about the third time she said it, I turned to her and said, "I have a better chance of wanting to walk before that will happen!" Any of you who know me personally, know that there isn't anything inside of me that has any desire to walk, so Amy not coming back to camp probably isn't going to happen, which I'm happy about!
I promise to post as soon as I get back with all of my new and exciting adventures. Also, I'll write about whether or not I was disappointed or pleased by the changes that were implemented this year which are mentioned in the above journal entry. If nothing else, my post upon my return will be about what trouble Amy and I have gotten in this year, and plan to get in next year!