A couple months ago I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil, and although I wasn't paying that close of attention because I was doing multiple things at once, as he headed to commercial break at the end of a segment, he made the comment that a goal had a timeline, whereas a dream, having no timeline, could, and probably should, go on forever. Why? Well, because it's just that; a dream... something that you know may never realistically happen, but it's okay because it's just a dream.
A goal on the other hand, according to Dr. Phil, is something that has a very specific timeline, and can realistically be achieved within that timeline. In other words, if you say something like "I want to lose 30 pounds in nine months", here's how you would decide if it was a goal, or a dream. First of all, is it realistic? If the answer to that question is yes, the next one is do you have a a plan in place as to how you're going to make this happen? If the answer to that too is yes, are you willing to devote the time and the energy it's going to take to accomplish everything on the plan that you made? Again, if the answer is yes, and you're willing to stick to it no matter what happens, then you can safely consider it a goal.
According to him, there are certain words and phrases that are toxic to creating a goal. Two of these that made the most sense to me were "someday", and "in the future". If you're using either one of those phrases when talking about achieving a goal, and I admit, I have been guilty, then he says, and the more I think about it, the more I agree with him, you're only lying to yourself.
As I said at the top of this, this show with several months ago, and I'm not even sure what got me thinking about it again, and actually, that's irrelevant. The point is that I have been a lot lately. Specifically when it comes to things that Chan and I want to do, or are going to do. For instance, almost since we met, I've said that I wanted to build a house together, and have it be just the two of us living in it. Before any of you ask, yes, there will have to be staff to help us with our daily needs, but they don't really count because even if they are living on site, if I have my way, they'll have their own guesthouse, and won't have anything to do with us unless we need them. At this point, is that a goal, or a dream? Before I started thinking about it and examining it more, I would have called it a goal. However, probably not now because the fact of the matter is that even though I would like to think we could have a timeline, realistically, we can't because there are way too many X factors that we need to consider before we, but especially I, could and would comfortably consider it a goal.
Going to Florida is also something we've talked about. Dream or goal? Again, at this point, I'd have to call it a dream come in because there is far too much that needs to be taken into consideration before we can even think about putting a timeline in place. So, that's two for the dream team, and absolutely nothing for the goal setters. Hmmm, maybe this blog entry will put more into perspective than I originally intended, or thought it would!
Sleeping in the same bed. Dream or goal? Ouch! Even though this one is in progress, and I'm doing everything I can to be able to put a timeline on it, at this point I can't, and therefore, the more I think about it, the more I'm going to have to call this one a dream and well. Double ouch! So, just in case you're keeping score at home, that's three for the dream team, and still a big fat zero for the goal setters!
Anything beyond sleeping in the same bed (use your imagination here, I'm sure you can figure out what implying). Well, I'm going to have to give the goal setters a half point for this one, because to my delight, we have been able to figure out how to do a lot by ourselves without any assistance, which makes me very happy, and I wouldn't change it for anything, but we still haven't hit the homerun, if you will. Yahoo, although not by much, the goal setters are gaining! 
So what's my closing pitch point? This: it sort of saddens me that the dream team is winning by so much in our relationship at this point, but I guess that means that we're just going to have to work a little bit harder in order to make sure that the goal setters never fall too far behind, and knowing us and our relationship the way I do, neither one of us is ever going to be OK with letting that happen, so I don't think we have much to worry about!
Hopefully after reading my reflection on my life's situation, you'll be inspired to reflect on and re-examine many of your own life situations. Maybe once you do that, you'll be able to better see how you can turn your dreams into concrete goals, who knows!