How many of you, as my readers, are currently in a relationship? How many of you who are are taking each other out on regular dates? By regular, I'm not referring to "normal", as in the difference between able-bodied, and disabled, but rather how often do you have time, or make time to go out on dates? If your answer as of right now, as you're reading this very first paragraph is, "not very often, we just prefer to stay at home", then I strongly encourage you to read all the way through this entry, and hopefully by the time you reach the end, my words will have made you stop and think about the fact that maybe going on a date isn't such a bad idea after all. Furthermore, maybe it will convince you that you should at least try to make dates a regular part of your routine, not because you have to, but because you can!
It was approximately 6 weeks ago that Chandler and I decided that trying to do something each week, just the two of us, was a really good idea! After all, by this point, we didn't really want to be apart anyway, so spending even more time together could only bring us closer, right? Two weeks after that initial discussion, I told him that my mom had invited him to go see a movie with the two of us if he wanted to. He said he would love to, and then all I needed to do was let him know what movie, and when we needed to be ready. Good, everything was going in the right direction, and even though my mom was going to be going with us, I didn't really care, and neither did he because at least we were going to be spending time together outside of the building.
I should've known that the whole scenario was going to turn out to be too perfect to be true! Unfortunately, because we rely on public transportation, we're at their mercy. We never actually know whether we're going to get both the going ride, and the return ride, and if they're going to be at the exact times that we want them to be. As it turned out, on this particular day, we got the exact going ride that we wanted, but the return ride that they wanted to give us was going to be far too early based on when the movie was projected to end, and what's the point of going to sit through a movie that you're going to miss the end of anyway? Due to the fact that that didn't really make sense, we ended up canceling plans, and decided that we would try again in two weeks with high hopes!
Two weeks rolls around, and we know exactly which movie we're going to see, and we had to pick up time and the return time old figured out. To my great surprise, and even greater delight, we even got both the pickup, and the return. So now all we had to do was wait for Thursday to roll around, and everything should go smoothly. The toughest part of getting the rides was complete, it was all going to be downhill from here! Wednesday afternoon, (yes, the day before we were supposed to go) I just happened to glance at my calendar, and realized that the following day was the 5th, and I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment on that day. Dammit, once again plans would have to be canceled.
After I get over being super pissed that we had to cancel plans for the second time in a row, we decided that we were going to shoot for yesterday. Once again, as of Tuesday night, things were going exactly the way we wanted them to, and there was even going to be an added bonus this time. My mom wasn't going to be going with us, so it was just going to be the two of us getting the opportunity to have an afternoon together outside of the building, which would allow us to connect even more. I was so excited and when I woke up yesterday morning, I couldn't contain myself, and I found myself looking at the clock every five minutes wishing time would go faster! At about 10 o'clock, I ate an oats and peanut butter fiber bar, and was going to wait about another hour before I ate lunch so that I and eaten right before we left.
At about 10:30, I started to get a very upset stomach. I attributed it to the fact that at that very moment, my hip was very very out of place. I figured that if I could get it back in, and get it to stay there, everything would be fine, and I could go on with my very exciting day! After I got my hip back in, instead of decreasing, my nausea actually intensified. As the minutes ticked by, it continued to grow in intensity. With just minutes left before I absolutely had to cancel our rides, I was faced with the fact that it wasn't going to go away, and so once again I had to cancel plans. Keep in mind, if you lost count, that this made the third time in a row!
Now, before a low bunch of you write me and tell me that it's going to be OK, and that there's always going to be on next time, or that everything happens for a reason, and we're just not supposed to go to a movie at this point, I'm going to tell you that I don't want to hear it, I don't want to see it, and I don't want to think about it. I realize that there will always be a next time, but like I told so many other people beat for all of you, that's not the point, and it's not ever going to be the point. The point is that there are many facets of our relationship that aren't normal because of things that are beyond our control. If there are any and he parts of our relationship which I can contribute to making normal, dammit, I want to do it! Going on a date, outside of the building, just the two of us, is the only little bit of normalcy that I want at this point! It seems very heartbreaking and unfair that we can even make that happen!