Have any of you ever heard of the song by John Mayer called Say? If not, let me at least tell you what the chorus is because it's very pertinent to what I'm thinking about, and therefore going to be writing about in this entry. The chorus of the song goes like this: say what you need to say because it's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say.
Just about an hour ago now I got an instant message from Chan telling me that someone who used to be a very good friend of both of ours had passed away about a month ago. For a short time, she was also one of my personal care attendants. Unfortunately, that didn't last as long as I thought it would, or quite frankly, as long as I wanted it to. When she started working for me, it was right after I decided to take on the responsibility of hiring my own staff, and unfortunately, looking back on the entire situation, I was still very immature and made what I now see were some irrational, if not poor decisions, which in the end sort of forced her to walk away from the entire situation of working for me.
After she left, we lost contact for a number of reasons, but the most important of which I feel now is the fact that I was just to immature to let the past be the past, and try to connect with her once again. On the very few occasions that I did try to get in touch with her, I only got an answering machine and I made no attempt to leave a message. In fact, I don't think there was ever a point where I actually even let her greeting message play all the way through.
Now she's gone, and until we meet again in heaven, I won't get the chance to say what I needed to say, or wanted to say, which was, "I'm sorry, and no matter what happened in the past, I do love you as a person!" All I can do now is hope that everything I've ever heard about heaven and what a wonderful place it is is true, because if it is, then I can rest assured that she is in a better place! How do I know this? I know this because no matter what we went through during the course of our working relationship, she had an amazing heart and loved everybody and anybody!
As I wrap this up, I have a very important note for all my readers: I'm positive that at some point in each and every one of our lives, we've heard one of those cliché phrases about life being too short, and living every day to the fullest. As cliché as they may sound, they're all true. Life is short, and anything can happen. There will probably always be a part of me that regrets the way Felicia and I's friendship ended, and I don't ever ever ever ever ever want any of you to feel that way! Always, always, always, always say what you need to say, because it's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say! Also, don't forget to take the word say, and replace it with the word do once in a while. Here's another cliché phrase, but I feel like it's entirely applicable here: actions do speak louder than words, so don't only say what you need to say, but also do what you need to do to make sure that those that you love know each and every day just how much you love them!