Jumping Rainbows

A true friend

What's your definition of a true friend?  When you look back over history, the word friend has been used loosely for a very, very long time.  With each generation, it is tossed around a little bit more.  So as you continue to read, ask yourself this question: How many true friends do you have? 

Over the course of my almost 23 years, I have had many "friends".  Friends in elementary school, who shared their cookies with me at lunchtime, or gave me a Valentine during our school Valentine's Day party.  Friends in middle school who told me they were always going to be there no matter what happened, but then somewhere along the line, we get into arguments over very "important" things, that I now look back on, and realize how trivial they were.  In reality though, those arguments caused us to go our separate ways.  High school was pretty much the same thing, drama, drama, drama, drama.  More "important" topics came up, we argued, said everything was going to be OK, but by the next day, we too went our separate ways.  At the time that I made all those friends, I was guilty of calling them "true friends", because I felt like they were.  However, now I know differently.  I have found, and will always keep, my definition of a true friend... 

A lot changed for me in December 2004.  I moved out of Courage Center, a transitional living facility that teaches people with physical disabilities how to live as independently as possible.  I was also going to be getting my own apartment, something I had looked forward to for many, many, many years.  While I was in the process of moving my stuff in one day, I met this guy out in front of the building.  He introduced himself as Chandler, and he also had a dog with him whose name he said was Yanni.  I asked him if Yanni was a Service Dog, he said yes, and then we started talking about how much I wanted one myself.  A few days later, as I was moving more stuff in, I had the door to my apartment propped open, and Yanni decided to invite himself in.  Chandler, now more affectionately referred to as Chan, was quite embarrassed at Yanni's behavior, but quickly discovered that my family and I didn't mind.  We've been true friends, and yes, I mean true friends, ever since. 

Chan is always there for me no matter what time of the day or night it is, and no matter the circumstances.  In fact, there are many, many, many nights where he stays in wheelchair in order to stay with me, so that I don't have to be by myself for a solid 12 hours.  Now keep in mind, wheelchairs are not always the most comfortable place to be.  I know this from first-hand experience, because I use one every day.  Just last night, October 5th, 2006, he sat with me for what had to be 45 minutes to an hour telling me everything was going to be OK, that he loved me, and that he wasn't going anywhere.  Now, understand that him providing physical comfort, i.e.  handholding, etc., is not an easy task by any means.  Somehow, however, in my times of need, he always finds a way to make it happen. 

He has taught me so much about myself over the almost 2 years that we've known each other.  When I moved in, there were so many things, such as leaning forward to grab his hand, or leaning forward to get a drink off the table, that I told him I couldn't do.  When he heard that I couldn't, he would, and still does, deliberately go over and do whatever it was that I said I couldn't, just to show me up.  The "look, I can, so why can't you" type of attitude which would, and still does piss me off, therefore, motivating me to do it.  Somehow, miraculously, he always seems to know when I need to be picked up, kicked in the ass, or just need someone to listen. 

If there's one thing I want the rest of the world to know about Chan, it would be this: As long as you show him you care, and show him that you can stay true to yourself, chances are, he will care 10 times more! 

Next time you use the words true, and friend in the same sentence, think about how you're using them, and who you're using them with.  "Friends" are everywhere, but true friends, best friends, are very very special!  The title of true friend in my opinion, should not be handed out to just anyone!  Treasure the few true friends that you have, because he may not ever find another one like them.  I know I won't! 

Chan: Understand that even after you're gone, I will carry the lessons that I've learned throughout the course of our friendship, with me forever!  You have truly made me a better person!  Thank you! 

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