I need a new term for something I used to call the "Jesus complex." It's neither a "complex," a "syndrome" or an "effect." The idea is like this. Pretty much everywhere Jesus went, people considered him to be a prophet. This was true everywhere except in his home town with his own people. There they thought "Huh? Jesus? He thinks he's a prophet? I knew him as a kid, what does he know?" His own people regarded him with a good amount of incredulity. Jesus himself noted it "a prophet is honored everywhere except in his hometown and among his relatives and by his own family." Familiarity breeds contempt.
I've often found that with my own family and friends, there is sometimes the same level of incredulity when I speak. Much of this is my own fault. I used to think that I had so much knowledge in my head that I would sometimes get the facts confused and give the wrong answers. I suppose this does happen at times but after a lot of introspection, the simple answer is that many times when I'm making a declarative statement, I will exaggerate. I don't know why I do this, but I do and I admit it. Admitting it is not enough though. Now I take steps to correct it, even if it's to my own embarrassment. Speaking a false statement is a lie, whether intentional or not, and it should never be allowed to stand.
So why is this so important to me?
I feel that I have doubly ruined my ability to share the gospel with my family and friends. When I discuss matters of faith with them, they're just not listening and on the odd chance they are at least listening, their level of hostility and disgust for it is overwhelming. I don't this to mean that I personally feel rejected because they're rejecting my words, I'm saying that I worry they're rejecting it for no other reason than I am the one saying it.
With so many of my friends dying in the last few years, it presses on me that death is more imminent for myself and my family members and when I die, I just want to see them there in Heaven with me.