Tonight was full of excitement!
I'm sitting on the couch reading a book, snacking on some chips and sipping a cold green tea, and suddenly this drugged up woman scales my patio wall and comes straight into my apartment. I stand up and all she does is stand there noticing I'm naked and failing to notice I have my 9mm pointed directly at her. After a couple seconds she notices the gun, shakes her head and starts screaming that she has the wrong apartment while at the same time I'm loudly commanding her to "get the fuck out the way you came." She did. At least I now know my penis is more popular than my sidearm.
No less than 20 minutes later I'm standing out on the patio and up pops another one like a drunken whack-a-mole and she starts to climb over while saying shes looking for her friend. I push her back over the side but then I see another guy coming up from behind the cars toward my patio. I draw my gun again but then I recognize the man as a neighbor and he says he's trying to help her find where she's going so they leave everyone alone. I told him he wasn't doing a very good job and they were in a situation where they could get very hurt or even worse. He got the message and left telling her she was on her own and they both left in opposite directions.
Did I call the cops? No, the last thing I want to do is spend hours dealing with them and having it somehow fuck up my vacation plans by having to go to court if I had her arrested. The one thing I am going to do tomorrow is reprogram the motion sensors to allow for a "armed at home" mode.
The one thing that surprised me the most is that I was able to remain calm and correctly ascertain the threat level during it all and everyone lived to see another day. I'm safe and hopefully they sober up.