Today was pharmacy day at Walmart.
- Cafergot & Ketorolac for migraines.
- Verapamil for my heart.
- Allegra for allergies.
- Advair and Albuterol inhalers for Asthma.
- Albuterol and Atrovent capsules for my nebulizer.
- Lexipro for anxiety/depression.
- Xanax for emergency stress/anxiety.
I have to be careful with the xanax because it's highly addictive and sometimes it will give me one hell of a morning hangover headache. Because I was having constant anxiety attacks I took it a lot in the last couple weeks but not enough to become dependant again. I haven't had any more in three days.
So what are my particular anxiety attacks about? Mostly fear about the futility of certain things in my life. Depression comes from the inability to change the things I normally can and anxiety comes from the inability to change the things that I cannot. At first they are seperate and unique but eventually they combine, each making the other worse and making it all the more difficult to escape. It's a circular thing. It's not a weakness, it's just a chemical imbalance.
I've been on the Lexipro for about 5 days now and already it seems to be helping a little. Not much yet but I am noticing something different, I just don't know exactly what.
Oh, I also bought some letter-sized legal pads, graph paper and a zip-up mesh binder to keep all my writing and drawing stuff in so it's easier for me to cart to the resort.