Okay, I said I wasn't going to write anymore but that wasn't really me talking, it was depression talking. It's something I've struggled with for a long time. I started taking Zoloft again about a year and a half ago and it helped. I can't say I was too happy about the sexual side effects but it was worth the peace of mind. With a few lucky people Zoloft will make you super horny, but with other people it pretty much kills your sex drive.
Well, as luck has it, the side effects didn't last too long because come last June my employer changed insurance and most of my many needed medications were no longer covered. I don't like it, but I'm a walking pharmacy. I need my drugs.
I tapered off slowly with my remaining Zoloft and by July I was off it. I did pretty good too but without me really even noticing it the depression came back. It wasn't constant but when my time was not occupied with something else it would manifest itself.
In the last few months I had a change in lifestyle that kept me pretty active for a couple of months but then suddenly through no choice of my own it came to an abrupt halt. Afterward, about the only time I wasn't feeling somewhat down was when I was in Tuscon with Liz. This isn't to say that she became the center of my world, but rather that since we're both creative people, when we're together we always find fun things to do. I love her more than anything and for my own sake and for the sake of our friendship, I need to get myself back to a healthy state so I am okay all of the time and not just when completely mentally occupied by friends.
So tomorrow I am going to make an appointment with my doc to ask about alternatives to Zoloft. My insurance seems to cover all the other SRI's with no problems.
As for this this journal and everyone else, I honestly don't know if anyone really gives a shit about what I have to say but I have a desire to be creative and journaling is a good way to do it.
Thank you Liz for writing what you did while I was cooking us up some breakfast. I love you for you are my bestest friend.