After a week of mourning over the loss of myself, today I made an important decision about my future and my friends.
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted my friends to know what I am feeling and then want to help me. That line of thinking proved to be a failure and it's days are gone.
I'm not waiting for you anymore. If you want to call yourself my friend, then I have expectations of you. Serious expectations.
From every person who claims to be my friend, I deserve and expect the following:
- I expect you to invite me out for lunch every once in a while. I will do the same.
- When it is obvious that something is on my mind and that I need to talk, I expect you to ask me about it, listen to me, and offer help and/or advice when you can. At the minimum, I expect acknowledgement. I do this for you, so I expect you to do this for me.
- I expect you to call me once in a while, just like I call you. Not just when you want something, but even when you don't.
- I expect to be invited to your home every once in a while. Maybe for movie or dinner or whatever.
- I expect you to accept invitations to my home.
- I expect inclusion. If you have a home party or non-family get-together, I expect to be invited to a few of them.
- I am not asexual. If you have a nice single female friend who is looking for a kind, loving and highly intelligent man who is not a bum, I expect you to introduce us. Don't decide if she will like me or not, let us decide that.
- I am a touch person. I like to hug and I sometimes touch you when I speak so that you are aware of my friendship and compassion. If you are a person who accepts my touch, then I expect you to give me random hugs for no other reason than it would make me feel loved.
- I have never said no when asked for a favor. I expect the same from you. I will never ask any friend to do anything illegal, immoral, unethical or out of their means so there is no excuse for saying no.
- I'm not a hallmark holiday person. I do not expect holiday gifts. What I do expect is random tokens of your friendship. It can be a card, or cookies or even a pretty rock you found in an alley. I feel good when I give and I feel loved when you think I am worth giving to.
- If you are one of my many online friends, I expect your emotional support. Lord knows I give all of you mine. If I don't get it, I am going to stop talking to you.
These are not demands. I can't force you to do any of these. These are things that are expected in any valid friendship and I expect no less.
I am not going to stay depressed because of other peoples lack of attention to my needs. I am attentive to your needs and I expect you to be attentive to mine. If you cannot do these things, I will notice and in the interest of my own well-being, I will need to stop having anything to do with you.
I am a kind, loving, intelligent and fun person and I deserve no less than this from anyone who claims to be my friend.