Amber's Abode

"... when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, dance!..."

I was going to just blog about things that now seem trivial, like my latest poker winning and how my last massage went. 

But when I went into my usual online chat room, I discovered that the mood was very somber, and I asked what I had missed.  It turned out that one of the regular faces in the Disabilities R Us room died early yesterday morning.  Her heart just gave out.  She was 34 years old.

I felt sad for the loss of the room's friend, of course.  But it also felt really weird because I wasn't really sad for myself.  I mean, I know she was a beautiful soul and very nice person, but I didn't know Bev as well as I wanted to and probably should have.  I mostly felt for the people in the room who are dear friends of mine who are hurting.  It bothers me that I couldn't and can't do more to help them.

It also got me thinking about what I want people to say and remember about me when it's my time.  Maybe something like "Amber was an energetic soul that gave energy to all those around her.  She was helpful and fun and open to all kinds of experiences.  She was the kind of person that made you feel complete.  She was brave and artistic, but most of all, she was a good friend."

Maybe that's corny, I don't know.  But that's what I want people to remember about me.  And I would like to hear what people remember before I am gone, kind of like a living wake type of thing.  That's probably really strange.

This whole experience reminds me to tell people that I love them and they matter to me.  I am newly resolved again to tell them every day, while I still can.  And to live life full of color and joy.  I do know Bev strived to do that while she was here.  And that's the spirit that her friends must carry from now on to keep her alive.

God bless you, Bev.  May you rest in peace, joy, and love.

More Posts by Amber